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Thursday, August 2, 2012

The memories are there...under the surface...

One of the blogs that I follow is that of a fellow Australian woman who lives in a rural area. In the last month this blogger has written of the experiences of domestic violence that she is enduring. Some of her posts have struck a chord...memories that I had tucked away...emotional pain and turmoil that had eased. I feel that I have a bond with this blogger; I know some of the anguish that she is going through. But you know there are other memories that have been triggered....memories of kindness, support, loving care and concern.

My workplace when things 'went pear-shaped' in 2000

When workmates found out about my circumstances (12 years ago), it was as though they formed a protective shield around me.  Others told me their stories...I wasn't alone! I was given advice; for example, organise to have a locker at work and keep a work outfit in it in case you have to leave home suddenly. Keep an iron at school so you can still be ready for work if you've had to flee with just clothes from the line. 

Other advice was; have the phone number of the nearest police station programmed in the mobile phone. Keep an overnight bag packed with basics hidden in a cupboard in the house, again in case you have to leave suddenly. My boss at the time organised for a carpark off campus (in a garage belonging to one of our relief teachers who lived locally)because she had heard that disgruntled spouses had damaged cars in school car parks. I also kept doonas in the boot of my car in case DD2 and I had to run and we ended up in a caravan park.
DD2 and I in the little house; friends and relatives lent us an incredible amount of 'stuff' to furnish the house

When we did eventually leave, the help didn't stop. A friend put us up immediately. Real estate agents (females) gave me keys to inspect premises without the hassle of the then, $50 deposit and kept an eye out for rentals with security. A friend asked me to house-sit while I was looking for somewhere to rent, which gave me 2 weeks' breathing space and my boss allowed me to use Non Contact Time to inspect rental properties. (which was a big thing!!!)  I did eventually rent a little 2 bedroom house and it was because of a wonderful real estate agent who had sussed that I loved gardening and alerted us when the house went from being sold to being a rental when the owner decided to withdraw it from sale. And the house was owned by an ex pupil who was delighted that I wanted to restore her neglected gardens. I had recognised her name when I signed the lease.
I bought DD2 a cat from the Cat Practice; here he is on her bed

Being my typical self, I soon made friends with the neighbours. One neighbour was always organising get togethers with her friends and she would always invite me! That's me in the middle :-) 
I really did 'rely on the kindness of others' (to misquote/paraphrase Tennessee Williams' prose, lol ) and it's those memories that take precedence in my recall of those events. The life I lead now is just so different and every day I'm thankful for my good fortune, my wonderful friends and all those others who helped me in some way :-) Life really is good!!! 


kaiteM said...
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Maa said...

Maria, Aren't you lucky that you had all the help at that time. I'm so pleased that you've managed to find a good relationship with your partner. We take chances when we hook up with someone. The 'real' person can take years to come through and even then it can take us by surprise. In a lot of cases we tend to look inward and wonder what we've done. Being mothers we also try to solve the problem. I do believe it's only natural. It's going to be baby steps for me.

duchess_declutter said...

Maria - this makes me realise I live in a bit of a bubble at times. So glad you in a happier space now.

kaiteM said...

thanks Maria, i don't like too much personal info out there for long.